


Defying Reality

by ErinPtah



Category: Fake News FPF
Genre: Filk, Musical References, Pre-Colbert Report
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 23:14:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2791229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErinPtah/pseuds/ErinPtah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exclusive scene from the long-lost film script for <i>I Am America (And So Can You!): The Musical: The Movie: IN SPACE!*</i> "Stephen" is in talks to get his own news show. When a meeting with executives goes badly, he and Jon have to sing about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Defying Reality

**Author's Note:**

> First wrote some of these lyrics back in 2010, wanted to do a whole story, then shelved the idea when I never got beyond this one song. It wasn't like I hadn't done filk before – see the [HellSING! parodies](http://hellsing.comicgenesis.com/other/karaoke.html), 2003-2010 – but the mojo never came together again until [Night Vale: The Musical](http://archiveofourown.org/series/152909).
> 
> Original: [Defying Gravity](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlMBcTGJ4YM).
> 
> _*Disclaimer: not actually in space._

(Noise of a slamming door offstage. STEPHEN comes striding out into frame, furiously adjusting his tie. An exasperated JON follows.)

JON  
Stephen, why couldn't you have kept things realistic for once, instead of being so demanding?

I hope you're happy!  
I hope you're happy now  
I hope you're happy how you've scared off our investors  
With things not market-tested

STEPHEN  
I hope you're happy!  
I hope you're happy, too  
I hope you're proud how you would stomp on my ambition  
Confine it with tradition

BOTH  
So though I can't imagine how  
I hope you're happy right now

JON  
Stephen, listen to me. Just say you'll fact-check.  
You can still have your own news show  
What you've worked and waited for  
You can have all you ever wanted

STEPHEN  
I know  
But I don't want that  
No – I can't want it anymore

It's time to change the business; some things can't stay the same  
I'm through with playing at the old-school journalism game  
Too late for second-guessing, too late to go back to sleep  
It's time to trust my gut here, close my eyes...and leap

It's time to try defying reality  
I think I'll try defying reality  
And you can't pull me down!

JON  
Stephen, try to understand. You're having delusions of grandeur....

STEPHEN  
I'm through accepting limits 'cause science says they're so  
They say to check your facts, well, I can make a No Fact Zone  
Too long I've been afraid of muddling truth and losing trust  
Well, who needs truth? If my opinion's loud enough...

...it's not a lie, just defying reality!  
Watch me each night, I'll defy reality  
And you can't pull me down!

Jon – do it with me. Think of the ratings we'd get...together.

Unlimited  
Together we're unlimited  
We could do the greatest punditry that's ever been  
Think, Jon!  
Think of how we could boast

JON  
With me as your co-host

BOTH  
Of the ratings we'd bring in!  
Just you and I, defying reality  
With you and I defying reality

STEPHEN  
They'd never bring us down!  
Well? Are you coming?

JON  
I hope you're happy  
Now that you're choosing this

STEPHEN  
You too  
I hope it brings you bliss

BOTH  
I really hope you get it, and you don't live to regret it  
I hope you're happy in the end  
I hope you're happy, my friend

STEPHEN  
So if you care to find me, just turn on your TV!  
Wait for eleven-thirty: there's a show that's all to do with me!  
And if I'm hosting solo, there's nothing in my way  
Of those who'd ground me, I have just one thing to say  
Who cares? Not I, defying reality!  
I'm flying high, defying reality  
And soon I'll match Fox in renown  
And no execs on CNN, no storied solemn-voiced newsmen  
Are ever gonna bring me down!

JON  
I hope you're happy

COLBERT NATION  
Have you seen this new show?  
Watch it!

STEPHEN  
Bring me down

COLBERT NATION  
With such loud opinions  
We could let him lead us

STEPHEN  
Oh-whoa-ah-oh!

COLBERT NATION  
Down!


End file.
